Until you are in your mid-20s, you experience almost everything for the first time in your life (early attempts to relationships, paving a career path, expectations from people, etc), the reason you make a lot of wrong decisions. And it’s perfectly okay to commit mistakes along the way and learn from them. One of the several beautiful things about being yourself and making wrong decisions is you truly learn, and you truly improve.
You are in your 20s or above, “Right NOW” is the best time to apply the lessons learned from your mistakes in order to spend the rest of your life without regrets. Those lessons will help you to uncomplicate ourselves, and when we uncomplicate ourselves, we uncomplicate our interactions with others that leads to pleasant experiences.
The bottom line is when we stop doing the wrong things and start doing the right things, our experiences become pleasant and relationships get a lot easier. Right now is the time to realize factors that have a lot to do in the making of a happy life.
1. Comparing yourself to others
Everyone has a very different life story. Opportunities, resources, abilities… everyone experiences these things differently. On a highway, no matter how fast you drive, you will always see someone ahead of you. The mindset of being ahead of all of them can bring unnecessary stress and can cause damages too. Remember, we all need our own time to travel our own distance. Move at your own pace and don’t compare your progress with anyone else.
2. Accept your roots
You belong to a small unpopular place, your family isn’t in a fancy profession, your parents aren’t university graduates… you have no control over these things, don’t stress yourself thinking ifs and whys during self-talks. Accept your roots, appreciate your parents whom circumstances didn’t allow you to complete their studies but they are putting their best efforts to make you a better person. Accept your roots and never lose sight of where you are going.
3. Accept yourself
You might don’t have body features like Arnold Schwarzenegger or Jennifer Lawrence, you might not be the most good-looking person in your company, you might lack at speaking a second language fluently, etc, you should completely be alright with it. You should accept yourself the way you are else you will spend your entire life in an inferiority complex. Do not focus too much on your less-impressive sides and over-analysis yourself. Everyone has flaws, it’s ok. Accepting yourself sorts out so many critical issues related to a mindset. When you love and appreciate yourself, you ultimately love and appreciate others too. You learn the art of loving and appreciating yourself. Accepting yourself the way you are will help you in accepting other people the way they are, and that will ultimately make your life beautiful.
4. Finding happiness outside yourself
Happiness is not related to the world outside, but it’s determined by what’s happening inside you. We spend so much time depending on outside sources to gain happiness, but in reality, it comes from within. Train yourself in relying on yourself only to gain happiness, it takes time but eventually, you will learn.
5. Letting negativity get the best of you
It’s often our own thinking that hurts us the most. Do not over-process the information you have, do not think about a situation from so many angles, do not assume too much. Remember, happiness lies in being positive and true positivity is when you have so much to complain about and cry on, but you choose to smile and prefer to appreciate your life.
6. No appreciation for what you currently have
Remember that happiness does not come when you get “more” of anything or get something you don’t have, but it comes when you deeply appreciate what you have. No one can put an end to desires but remember, the life you are living right now is still a dream of so many people, and they might never have what you have right now.
7. The limitations you put on yourself
There is a beautiful saying that the only limitations you will ever have are the ones you put on yourself. Don’t limit yourself to a comfort zone, don’t choose behaviors and routines because those are easy and familiar to you. Never make targets that are easily achievable. Don’t imprison yourself.
8. Waiting for Right Times
Life is hard, but we make it harder than it actually is by our uncertain behaviors. We wait too long for perfect moments.We postpone so many things thinking we will do it when we have “more”, more time, more money, more resources, etc. In reality, you don’t need to have it all to move forward, just use current resources and do the best until you know better. When you know better, you ultimately do better.
9. Settling for less than you are capable of
Know your worth and don’t settle for less. Losses, changes, and growth are very painful, but nothing is as painful as staying stuck where you don’t actually belong. I repeat, know your worth and never settle for less.
10. Resisting change instead of adapting it
We get to experience new things every day, and we can not control it, we can only control our reaction in situations that are new to us. You are not the same person you were a year ago, a month ago or a week ago. You are growing. You even grow quicker when you accept and adopt changes that occur in your life.
11. Spending very little time with the right people
We all want to be happy, and it becomes easy to smile when you have the right people around you. So from now on, spend more time with people who make you happy simply by being in your life. Keep in mind, the people you take for granted today may be the only people you need tomorrow. Never be too busy to make time for those who matter most.
12. Not making your beloved ones smile
Nothing is more beautiful than seeing your loved ones smiling, and when the reason behind that smile is you, it becomes even more beautiful. Make their day, it will ultimately make yours too.
13. Seeking approval from others
You don’t need anyone’s approval of your choices. You are good enough, smart enough, strong enough. You don’t need anyone’s validation to make sure that you are valuable. YOU ARE VALUABLE.
14. Giving too much attention to the wrong people
Stop impressing the wrong people. You should figure out who is worth your attention, who is taking advantage of you and who is not interested in you but you are forcefully making them part of your life by giving them too much attention that they actually don’t deserve. Spend more time with people who are original and make you smile, and avoid ones who you constantly feel pressured to impress.
15. Time spent on dramas and needless gossips
Life is too short to invite dramas in our life. Too short to fights and argues. Avoid routine life dramas, avoid those people too who are best at creating dramas. Count your blessings, value the people who matter most to you, and move on from dramas.
16. Being extremely careful
Don’t let hardships of life harden your heart, never let early bad experiences stop you from new experiences. Don’t connect your past experiences with new situations every time.
17. Being too sensitive and of soft nature
Being a sensitive person is a strength, not a weakness. When you have a high sensitivity level, you are more romantic, you can sense beauty more deeply and you enjoy little moments more than others. As little moments carry a huge value to sensitive people, little words do the same. People might don’t know you, they might don’t know what hurts you. Many times people don’t realize the impact of their words even they are just jokes or casual talks. They are not wrong people, they just don’t know your sensitivity level. Don’t take their words on your heart, don’t hurt yourself by recalling what they said again and again.
18. Endlessly worrying about things
Problems are part of life, and if a problem can be solved, do not sit back and just worry, rather make effort and wait for the outcome. If it can not be solved, worrying is useless. Don’t be obsessed with problems. Once someone said to me, “TRY. TRY. AGAIN. If it still can’t be solved, move on, you don’t have to be crazy about it” and it really worked many times.
19. Letting a grudge hurt your happiness
Perfect happiness is gained by not having grudges. Having a grudge is like giving rent-free space to an unwanted person in your head. Recalling the times and again is like punishing yourself. Don’t punish yourself, don’t reserve any space in your head for grudges. People do things that you don’t like or don’t expect from them but that’s life. All you can do is forgive them or forget them, that’s the only way to let go grudges and protect your happiness.
20. Forcing what’s not meant to be
Never force anything. Just be yourself, do your best and let it be. If it is meant to be, it will eventually be. Sometimes you have to stop worrying, wondering, doubting and seeking answers. Have faith that things will work out, maybe not how you planned, but how it meant to be.
21. Being in Forceful Relationships
Relationships should help you and not hurt you. Relationships should be effortless and not forced. It’s beautiful to make efforts to strengthen your relationships but you should not be the only person who is making all the efforts every time to give oxygen to relationships and the other person does not seem interested at all. Sometimes, the best thing you can do in a relationship is, respect the soul of that relationship and move on. Moving on does not mean giving up, it means your heart, feelings and happiness matter.
22. Not doing what needs to be done
It’s better to do and fail than wondering Ifs and Whats. Don’t hesitate to move out of your comfort zone, great things happen outside of comfort zones. Some of the best experiences and opportunities pop up only when you dare to do something that you think you can not do.
23. Letting opinions of others discourage you easily
They say your dreams are too difficult, not realistic, not possible to be achieved and you start thinking they are might be true. Never allow the opinions of others to talk you out of your dreams. If you can dare to dream, you can achieve them too.
24. Taking no-care of your health
One life, one body and that’s it. You can not have a good life without having good health, never compromise on your health while earning a livelihood. You may purchase your favorite car from working hard for 5 months, but you might not enjoy driving that car if that workload has given you a permanent backbone pain. Humans are complicated machines, and machines need to care properly else they wouldn’t work the way they should.
25. Ignoring your intuition every time
Sometimes your heart knows what needs to be done but your mind needs more time to accept it. Breathe, relax and listen to your intuition power. Intuitions are magical.
Bottom line: You are not alone…
If you are struggling with any of these points, know that you are not alone. Many of us are facing these same issues, working hard to be happy, seeking ways to feel better and trying to have a life free of regrets and dramas. It’s never too late to correct your direction, it’s never too late to become the person you are capable of becoming. Things can change, at any age, at any time, if you want them to.
Your contribution is really encouraged, share your positive principles, share what has helped you in making you a better person.