The very games we know nothing about are the ones that feature some of the hottest athletes in the world.
You already know about Maria Sharapova, Alex Morgan, Danica Patrick, Anna Kournikova, and Stephanie Rice, because they play sports that most people watch.
But what about those female athletes from sports you classify as random. Those sports that we usually only hear about once every four years. The very games we know nothing about are the ones that feature some of the hottest athletes in the world.
For example, if you watch field hockey, you are lying. The only time you watch that is when it comes on before Team USA plays Nigeria in basketball at the Olympics. Don’t act like you are a field hockey connoisseur.
Eve Muirhead (Curling)
How is Curling a sport? How hard can it be to throw a rock across the ice while trying to get it to land inside the target? Then I played it. It’s not as easy as you think. Go try it out. I promise you won’t win.
Tatiana Volosozhar (Pairs Figure Skating)
OK, I get it. Figure skating is not as random as Curling or Handball. You made your point before saying anything. I can guess that you will disagree with this choice.
But guess what? It doesn’t matter. Tatiana Volosozhar is a beautiful Russian skater, and that supersedes all the rules.
Jill Rudison (Bodybuilding)
Yep, I went there. For the first time in my Bleacher Report existence, I am featuring a female bodybuilder. And why not? She is beautiful, talented, and can kick your butt.
Those of you who do not consider bodybuilding a sport, just remember that these are legally considered sports: baton twirling, RC racing, bellyflopping, and mustache growing.
And if you still don’t think it’s a sport, you can always go watch wrestling. I hear that stuff might be fake.
My new thing is saying the word in. I try and say it as often as possible. I just have to be careful around my buddies because the new game becomes how many things I will do instead of the things I won’t do.
Someone asked me to curl, I would say IN without even thinking about it. In!
Noelle Pikus-Pace (Skeleton)
If I asked you to stick a skate on your back and slide down an icy hill going over 80mph, would you?
Chicken. Noelle Pikus-Pace does that on the reg, and she isn’t scared. She is actually trying to go faster. No, thanks, I am good.
Eloise Amberger (Synchronized Swimming)
Eloise Amberger is an Australian synchronized swimmer, and I just wanted to introduce her to you. You’re welcome.
Katherine Reutter (Speed Skating)
Don’t act like you never wanted to speed skate on ice. Every time I watch the Winter Olympics, this is my jam. I love this sport and Katherine Reutter for what it’s worth.
She is a two-time Olympic medalist and should be available in 2014 to win some more.
Trine Troelsen (Handball)
How does one play Handball? Because I watched it for the first time this past summer and I still don’t understand.
The refs blow the whistle more times than during an Oakland Raiders game, but the play continues. One of these days, I will learn. I might even play it.
Ludmila Privivkova (Curling)
Sex is just like Curling. You don’t have to be good at it to enjoy it. You just have to make sure you have three other women with you.
And maybe some ice too. Why not?
Angelica Wallen (Handball)
Angelica Wallen is a member of the Swedish national women’s Handball team. She played in the London Olympics. Although they lost all their matches, she came out with an experience to remember.
For example, how many of you have participated in the Olympic games? Exactly.
Michelle Jenneke (Hurdler)
Have you had enough Michelle Jenneke yet? I know I haven’t. And her beauty is surpassed by her talents, so she isn’t going anywhere anytime soon.
Then I heard her accent, and nothing else matters. Period. Fact. End of the equation.
Jenna Randall (Synchronized Swimming)
You don’t have to be perfect to enjoy synchronized swimming. The swimmers have to be perfect.
Jenna Randall knows all about that and has been to two consecutive Olympic Games as a member of Team Britain.
Victoria Pendleton (Cycling)
One does not simply turn on a TV and witness a cycling match. You have to pay for that kind of action.
And if you knew who Victoria Pendleton was, you would pay. Oh yes, you would pay a nice sum to see her cycle.
Ellen Hoog (Field Hockey)
Ellen Hoog is my favorite person on Earth. No, seriously, if I had one week to live and had the means to do anything I wanted, I would spend all my money and visit Ellen Hoog in Norway.
Which would be odd since she is from the Netherlands. But you get my point.
Most of the women on this list excel in multiple sports and many successfully run their own businesses as well.