There Are 27 Different Types of Breast Shape In the World — Here’s What You Need to Know

Everyone knows that boobs can be either big, small, or somewhere in between, but did you know that they can also be asymmetric, bell-shaped, or tear-drop? There are terms to describe nipple placement, where exactly your boobs sit on your chest, and what direction your boobs face when they’re not supported (aka not in a bra). All boobs (and nipples) are totally normal — in fact, most women have asymmetrical breasts.

We’re throwing out the rulebook and embracing the sheer diversity of bosoms. From those elusive “perfect” peaches to the gravity-defying conicals and the oh-so-relatable wide sets (no, stomach-sleepers, it’s not your fault!), we’ve got it all covered. When it comes to breast shape, breasts go beyond just bigger and smaller sizes. Just like bra sizes, every bust shape matters. Not all bra styles suit every breast shape. 

With quirky alternative names that’ll make you snort, we’re here to tickle your funny bone while promoting self-love and body acceptance. So sit back, relax, and prepare to laugh your way through the wonderful world of breasts!

The Peaches

These are not as common breast shapes as everyone might think. The average breasts are actually very rare. Sorry to burst your bubble, boys, but when seen on screen or in magazines, these perfectly proportioned and naturally gravity-defying bosoms are actually not as common as you think.

The Conical

These can be found in women of any age! You don’t have to have breastfed or ridden horses for years, as they can belong to anyone.

The Wide Set

Usually found in people who sleep on their stomachs. Just kidding!

The East-West

When your nipples are facing away from each other. These may be wide set or closed set.

The Round

Just as full as they are on top as they are underneath. It’s difficult to tell which way is up when you’re doing a handstand.

The Day Nappers

When your boobs are so high under your chin that you can rest your head on them and have a little nap.

 The Close Set

Whether you are small or large, busted, your boobs are set very close together.

The Itty Bitties

You might be jealous of your big-busted friends, but they are envious of you too. They will never know what it’s like sleeping on their stomach, buying pretty bras, running to catch the bus, or free-boobing. Argh the free-boobing.

The Half – Fed

Breastfeeding mums – you know this one. One side is empty, the other side is 3 cup sizes bigger, leaking, and the baby is sleeping. Welcome to motherhood.

The Roald Dahls

The Fought Hard As Hell

The Robots

The Canoes

The Watch Where You’re Goings

Always point down and look where you’re going. It’s a pity they don’t seem to stop you from falling on your face, though.

The Desk Resters

When your bra is just not doing its job – it’s time to rest it on the desk in front of you and give your shoulders a break.

The Ian Thorpes

If this one needs explaining, Ian Thorpe is a swimming Australian hero – his nickname down under is Torpedo.

The Madonnas

The Milk Jugs

When you’ve just had your baby and your milk comes in.

Twin Peaks

The Asymmetrical

Asymmetric breasts are sets of boobs where one has a different size, breast shapes, volume, or position than the other. If you’d like to even out your breasts, push-up bras with removable pads would probably work best.

 The Ski Jumps

 The Ghosts

When there is just a nipple.

The Melons

When they look like a melon cut in half and stuck to your chest – round and hard. Usually seen with a skimpy triangular bikini skimming the nip.

The ‘Where Did They Come Froms’

Usually, when you least expect it – they appear from nowhere.

The Mad Mens

If you’ve seen the show, you know what we’re talking about!

The Decorated

When you can’t find enough places to pierce, these are your first options.

The Crayolas

At the end of the day, there are so many different body types, ear lobe shapes, labia, hair textures, heights, and skin types (to name a few) that all contribute to making you. Don’t get me started on your personality, as yes, you’re one of a kind. Whatever breast shapes you have, they’re all yours and can do an amazing job of nourishing your babies. They’re amazing no matter what their shape or size.

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