We’ve done it again, this time with a list of funny, no soliciting signs that will make you laugh. You may have seen a “no soliciting” sign here and there and wondered what it meant, what soliciting is, who does it, and who they do it too; you know, before you start laughing, why not learn a thing or two?
Keeping solicitors away can be as easy as putting up a sign. People usually put up “no soliciting” signs to request (or even demand!) not to be disturbed by solicitors. But where you place the sign and what it says can make all the difference in its effectiveness. So what should you do? Add a bit of humor, of course!
Here is a big list of funny no, soliciting signs from which you can take inspiration.
1. These homeowners seem to have done everything, from believing in Jesus to buying everything they need. So solicitors, just go away!
2. So many solicitors have come through these homeowners’ properties that it’s becoming difficult to hide the bodies… beware.
3. Carlos, the burrito guy, is only allowed in these parts.
4. If solicitors aren’t afraid of the mister in the house, then they had better be scared of the missus!
5. Please don’t make it awkward anymore; these people have had enough weird introductions and rejections!
6. This home, on the other hand, welcomes solicitors! The catch is that they charge $20 per minute of soliciting.
7. Unless you’ve got wine or are prepared to do some laundry, you better not try to do any soliciting at this residence.
8. No soliciting is allowed here. Just ask the dog – he hates strangers.
9. Please just don’t ring the doorbell anymore.
10. Nobody is allowed to solicit here except girl scouts, Amazon, and wine delivery. Otherwise, meet their pet tyrannosaurus Rex!
11. These homeowners are Star Wars fans and do not want you soliciting on their property!
12. Some solicitors are impulsive, so these people would like to sell you somewhere else!
13. This is straight-up dangerous for solicitors and trespassers! Beware.
14. Hiding is tiring work too! Please stay away.
15. No soliciting unless you have thin mints. That’s our policy!
16. If you insist on soliciting and trespassing, then it’s time to assume that you’re a danger to my home. Get ready to face the consequences.
17. Everything you do will get caught on this home’s camera system. So don’t even bother soliciting!
18. Nah, we’re good. No thanks to you.
19. Here’s another dangerous property for solicitors, who double tap to ensure violators won’t survive!
20. If you ignore the sign, the homeowners can ignore you. That’s just the way it is.
21. Here’s another home with an even higher rate per minute of selling!
22. Ammunition is expensive nowadays, so solicit and trespass at your own risk.
23. Beware. Just beware.
24. This person just doesn’t care anymore as long as solicitors don’t step foot on his property. Please, go away!
25. Nobody can do any soliciting here unless they’re kids!
26. Here’s what “go away” means for this household!
27. Solicitors and trespassers ought to heed this warning.
28. No soliciting, no questions, no nothing!
29. All these things will happen if you decide to solicit at this home: an angry homeowner, an angry dog, and a bad situation!
30. Unless the house is on fire, there is a package for delivery, or the homeowner has won the lottery, then you, as a solicitor, better not ring that doorbell!
31. This sign subtly says, “Please don’t knock… or else.”
What is soliciting?
Soliciting is asking or trying to get something from someone. Sometimes you’ll see this in movies as door-to-door salesmen trying to sell homeowners something or people from religious groups attempting to spread the word.
Solicitors usually sell tangible goods or services, whether useful stuff or other gimmicky products. They can also sell intangible things, such as insurance policies or services like lawn clean-up.
The thing is, not everybody wants to deal with these solicitors. And unfortunately, homeowners are very attractive communities for many commercial, religious, and even political solicitors. There are even laws in different places regarding soliciting, whether it’s none or some that are allowed.
Solicitors may be welcome in some homes, but most homeowners just want their privacy to be respected – and who can blame them?
